The Joys Of A New TV Adventure

This past Friday I was supposed to have my wisdom tooth removed, but since I didn’t realize that the person driving me home (which was, you know, my husband) had to be there for the whole procedure (what with the sedation and all), we had a little scheduling mix-up and had to bump my appointment to Monday. Since I’d sort of planned the weekend around a rigorous regimen of painkillers and sleeping, the whole re-scheduling thing meant that I suddenly found myself with a wide-open stretch-o-weekend and a horribly neglected DVR.

I haven’t intentionally neglected the DVR, mind you. I’ve wanted to have some quality DVR time, in fact. But I’ve been working on a little sideline project at night that has basically triggered my obsessive gene to SOARING NEW HEIGHTS OF OBSESSIVENESS, and as a result I’ve gotten way behind on all my normal shows.

(Except for Project Runway and Survivor. I always seem to make time for those. Along with Food Network and Bravo as the occasional background noise.)

Anyway, after I read your comments in the last post, I’ll have you know that I accomplished three significant TV-related achievements over the weekend: 1) I caught up on The Office (I am loving Andy as the boss and wanted to hug him after that garden party with his parents) 2) I caught up on Modern Family and 3) based on your recommendations, I totally caved and watched Revenge.

Listen. I have some thoughts about that third thing. So many, many thoughts about that third thing.

I had no idea what the show was about, so I was surprised to see a cross between Dallas (did anyone else think Southfork Inn was a wink at the Ewings? am I overthinking it?) and Dynasty combined with a hefty dose of Veronica Mars. I was also surprised to see that Revenge marks a television series return to the land of people who store their alcohol in crystal decanters (oh, Sue Ellen Ewing – you have been missed). Sweet mercy. I DO NOT MIND IT.

And Madeline Stowe as Victoria Grayson? SOLID GOLD. Plus, Victoria’s collection of stylish dresses would make Krystle Carrington and Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan so proud. Though Krystle would probably be puzzled by the fact that Victoria isn’t wearing more shoulder pads. Krystle is still trapped in the 80s, bless her heart.

My favorite part so far was in the last episode, when Conrad and Lydia were arguing at her sassy loft / penthouse / big city apartment. After he tossed the picture frame, she picked it up – then grabbed a magnifying glass off the desk so that she could examine the photo more closely. A MAGNIFYING GLASS. Because, you know, she just happened to have a magnifying glass sitting around. AS WE ALL DO.

What up, Mrs. Columbo?

All that to say: I think I’m hooked. I don’t want to be hooked, but I’m pretty sure I’m hooked. And I also think that maybe Emily and Nolan are brother and sister but don’t know it yet. Their hair is the same color and their clothes always (sort of) match – almost like we’re supposed to associate them with one another.

Clearly I need to take a step back from this situation and maybe REACQUAINT MYSELF WITH REALITY.

Odds are that the whole wisdom tooth removal will probably be the perfect antidote to the Graysons and Emily and the fact that David Clarke was framed. HE WAS FRAMED.

So see? It all works out.

Have a great Monday, everybody!

I’m Not Here…

…but I am over here today.

And I’m talking about TV.


Do I Like To Talk To Tomatoes? Yes. Yes, I Do.

This summer the little man and I have gotten in the habit of going out to lunch together a couple of times a week. I don’t know how it started, really, but I imagine that it went something like this:

Me: “Hey, you want to go get some lunch?”
A: “Sure, Mama.”

We don’t typically do things with a lot of fanfare around here.

Anyway, our little lunch outings have been one of my favorite things about this summer. We usually end up at the eight year-old’s favorite Mexican place where we split an order of nachos. He drinks Coke. I drink unsweetened iced tea. We talk about whatever happens to come to mind.

Yesterday we had just started to dig in to our chips and salsa when Alex posed a question: “Mama? What are your favorite kids’ shows?” I think he’d been a little surprised Sunday night when he saw me watching Phineas & Ferb OF MY OWN FREE WILL (I am of the opinion that P&F is hilarious), and I guess he was trying to figure out if there were any other current kids’ shows that I like to watch just for kicks.

Which, for the record, NO.

And also for the record: I have never wanted to put any real-life child in time out as badly as I used to want to put Caillou in time out. In fact, I finally had to implement a strict “No Caillou” policy in our house because I COULD NOT TAKE HIS WHINING. At the time Alex was probably 4 or 5 and didn’t understand why Mama would get so angry at the TV, but listen: Caillou wore me out.

However, despite my Caillou aversion, there are some kids’ shows that have found a special place in my heart over the last few years.

1) Phineas & Ferb – It’s laugh-out-loud funny. Smart. Clever. And I’m just waiting for some sort of announcement that it’s going to be a major motion picture.

2) Little Bear – If I hear the theme music for Little Bear, odds are I’m going to say, “Awwwwww” shortly thereafter. There’s such a sweetness and timelessness to it. And Little Bear’s parents are the best.

3) A Snoodle’s Tale – Okay. I know. It’s not technically a TV show. But we have watched a LOT of Veggie Tales DVDs in our house over the years, and A Snoodle’s Tale is my all-time favorite. I can’t watch it without putting my hand over my heart while I sigh with great feeling. And when the narrator says, “A gift that’s demanded is no gift at all” – well, forget it. MAMA’S GONNA NEED SOME TISSUES.

Wait! I have a fourth! And it’s a movie!

4) Finding Nemo – I could watch it a thousand times. OH, HOLD ON. I PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE. But I just adore it.

Are there any kids’ shows or movies that you’re always happy to watch? Or that you might even love more than the kids in your life do?

Please To Let Me Tell You

So yes, I sort of dropped off the face of the earth at the end of last week. Melanie and I went to Nashville to do some stuff for .MOM, and while I thought that I might get a chance to write a post or two while we were there, I was wrong. Which is nothing new, really.

Anyway, at some point I’ll recap all of our shenanigans and fun (oh, there were indeed some wacky shenanigans), but before I forget I want to share three or four things that have changed my life forever over the course of the last few days. Or maybe they’ve just changed my life for a few days. But still. IT’S ALL SO VERY EXCITING.

1. Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle Body Wash – I can’t seem to find this BONA FIDE TREASURE online, but oh my word it’s refreshing. Mel and I went to Trader Joe’s with our friend Paige last Thursday night, and I bought the body wash for two reasons: 1) I love anything made with tea tree oil and 2) it cost about $3.50. My expectations were low, but sweet mercy this stuff is good. It’s also the perfect way to treat yourself after you’ve spent the day running errands in 106 degree heat. Because just in case you were wondering? IT’S HOTTER THAN IT’S EVER BEEN.

2. Trader Joe’s Moisturizing Cream Shave Honey Mango – Paige recommended this shaving cream, and I was a little skeptical because it was only $4.00 and I’ve never really had luck with a shaving cream that’s more like a lotion. UNTIL NOW, that is. It works beautifully and leaves your skin so soft that you’ll vow to use it FOREVER. I know that re-stocking is going to be a challenge for me since there’s no Trader Joe’s in Alabama, so I guess that just means that I’ll have to buy embarrassing amounts whenever I go to Nashville. I’m totally fine with that option.

3. Nadeau – I’m typically a big fan of finding furniture at a thrift store or estate sale or whathaveyou and then re-purposing it, mainly because I think that there’s something a little more interesting about a piece of furniture that’s had a little bit of a life before it finds its way to my house. BUT. Sister has been telling me about Nadeau for months (we even have one right here in B’ham), and this past weekend we went to Nadeau in Nashville. They have great-looking chests and occasional tables and benches and chairs – sometimes in the most fun, bold colors – and their prices are great, too.

So there you have it. Just needed to share.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to watch the last ten minutes of the final episode of Friday Night Lights again. D and I saw season 5 on Netflix a couple of months ago, but I recorded the final episode on the DVR Friday night, and OH MY WORD that’s a fine 70-ish minutes of television. Nearly perfect. And I don’t even know why I said “nearly,” because I can’t think of a single thing that I’d change.

Except for that whole season-5-is-the-last-season-and-you’ll-never-see-Buddy-Garrity-in-a-golf-cart-again thing.

Let us all sigh deeply. And, lo, with feeling.

Texas Forever.

It’s Sort Of Like Having One Of Those 26.2 Stickers On Your Car. Only Not.

I totally remember the first TV show marathon I ever watched.

It was “The Real World.” Season 1. Eric and Julie flirted a lot. The whole cast was pretty much cute as a button, and with the exception of a few lively arguments, everybody behaved.

I quit watching “The Real World” somewhere around the second New York season (oh, it got REAL real about that time), but I never lost my love for the TV marathon. Give me back-to-back episodes of a TV show in which I am even remotely interested, and I will fire up the DVR lickety-split. Maybe it’s because I tend to err on the side of impatient, but I adore the option of watching episodes of a show one right after the other. IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY.

When D and I were first married, I was always on the look-out for a Law & Order marathon. Or a Road Rules marathon (remember Road Rules? I LOVED IT). There was even one time when the Biography Channel or A&E or somebody had a Columbo marathon, and I was ALL OVER IT. Nothing like a detective show from the 1970s to make a weekend extra special, you know?

After we bought our first house, I loved the home improvement shows on BBC America, and a marathon of Changing Rooms and/or Ground Force was always a treat. Then I discovered the joy of a House Hunters marathon – back in the days when they didn’t show the prices and the people looking for a house always picked the third one.

(That reminds me: I miss Suzanne Whang.)

(I also miss Michael Payne, the man who used to host Designing for the Sexes. I mean, do y’all remember how INCREDIBLY THRILLED he would be about ABSOLUTELY NOTHING? He was a delight.)

Our TV marathon habits haven’t changed much over the last few years. We’ve plowed through all the seasons of Friday Night Lights thanks to Netflix, and when we discovered the first season of Veronica Mars a few years ago, we would watch three or four episodes a night on DVD.

And listen. If I happen to catch a marathon of a cooking show? Like Top Chef or Chopped or The Next Food Network Star? Oh my word. THIS WORLD CANNOT CONTAIN MY JOY.

So all that to say: we love us a good TV show marathon in this house. And when I got home from Louisville and saw that I had fourteen (FOURTEEN!) episodes of Say Yes To The Dress on the DVR, I wanted to dance a little jig in a fitting room at Kleinfeld’s. Now granted, D isn’t the least bit interested in a TV show about wedding dresses, so I’m running this particular marathon alone. I’m not even halfway through all the episodes, but I’ve had the best time trying to pinpoint what kind of dress each bride is going to pick and being shocked by how much they’re willing to spend and seeing the expressions on their faces when they finally find “the one.”

It’s no Friday Night Lights, mind you, but it’ll do in a pinch.

So what about you? Any shows you’d recommend for a good marathon? Any shows you wouldn’t? Anything you’re hoping to catch sometime soon?

I’m all ears. Or eyes. Or ears and eyes. Or whatever is necessary in order to solidify some TV-watching goals.

As Seen On TV

Today D and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. Well, I mean, we didn’t really celebrate today because he spent all day at work and I spent all day doing fun things like going to the dentist and also Walmart, but tonight we got a babysitter and went out to my favorite sushi place. The dinner was a very sweet, selfless gesture on my husband’s part since he typically prefers for meat to be 1) cooked and 2) not wrapped in rice, but he survived. In fact, he actually ordered some COOKED scallops and said that they were delicious. So see? It all worked out.

(Okay. I just deleted a super-long tangent about marriage that is probably best suited for another post.)

(In fact, I’m going to paste it into a brand new post at this juncture.)

(Please pardon me while I attempt to GRAB HOLD OF THE BLOGGY REINS.)

(So. I’m back. And now I will continue.)

After dinner we went to get ice cream, and then we ran by Walmart on the way home because I decided that my day wouldn’t be complete unless I could walk through those sah-weet automatic doors ONE MORE TIME before the clock struck midnight. I know it probably seems pretty lame that we would spend part of our anniversary night walking past big ole ROLLBACK signs, but don’t most married couples end up at either Target or Walmart at some point during a date night? Or maybe Lowe’s?

Anyway, I needed some cheese and some hairspray (though please rest assured that I have no intention of using these items together), but on my way to the health and beauty aids section I got sidetracked by a big display that was standing in the center of the aisle. It was one of those deals where I didn’t really notice it at first, but as soon as I got past it I thought, Hold on. Did that say what I think it said?

So I backed up the cart, took a closer look, and OH MY WORD AMERICA HAS IT COME TO THIS?

I mean, seriously? We can’t be bothered to bend over and wash our own feet anymore?

For thirty seconds or so I stood there all indignant and incredulous, but before I could get too comfortable on my high horse, I remembered how the simplest tasks became very difficult when I was 7, 8, 9 months pregnant. And then I thought about how elderly people or people who have certain kinds of injuries or illnesses have to be really careful when they’re in the shower. And then I thought about the built-in pumice stone and how delightful it would be to massage my feet and shower at the same time, and I am here to tell you that I went from outraged consumer to BONA FIDE SUPER FAN in no time at all.

I didn’t buy the Easy Feet, mainly because my husband had just taken me out for a lovely dinner and I hated to say, “HEY, LET’S GET ME SOME OF THESE FAYN-CEE SHOWER SHOES” – but I thought about it. Oh yes I did. And now I’m curious: are you ever tempted to buy the As Seen On TV stuff? Or better yet, have you bought something? Do you have any Ginzu knives in a kitchen drawer? A Chia pet on the windowsill above your sink? A Magic Bullet in the cabinet next to your food processor? Or – heaven forbid – a Shake Weight propped up next to a stack of exercise DVDs?

Just thinking about reading your comments makes me happier than you will ever know. Because FINGERS CROSSED that somebody out there owns a Bump-It and is willing to share her personal Bump-It experience.

Giddy-up, y’all.