The Fine Art Of Marital Compromise

27 April 2007 by

A couple of weeks ago, Alex and I went to Mississippi for the weekend. D. was planning to go with us, but several days before we left he sent me an email with the following subject line: “WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS?” And the email changed everything.

(sidenote: I am, by nature, a bit of a worrier. I know. I know: Worry is not of God. Fear is the opposite of faith. I know. Been there, done the Bible study, got the bookmark. But even still, learning not to FREAK OUT OVER NOTHING is a day-by-day process. And this is why, when I saw the ALL CAPS subject line, I immediately wondered if I had unintentionally withheld Critical Knowledge from my husband. I have this kind of reaction all the time; for example, if you were to walk up to me and say, “Do you know what I heard?” my first (internal) reaction would be to think that SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAS HAPPENED, even if all you wanted to tell me is that diet Coke 12-packs are on sale 4 for $10 at Walmart, and if that’s the case then LET’S GET GOING, PEOPLE, BECAUSE WE HAVE SOME SHOPPING TO DO.)

As it turned out, what no one had told my husband was that there was an Apple Store opening in our town that same weekend. Approximately five minutes from our house. And somehow we missed the announcement that it was happening, despite the fact that D. has a love for All Things Apple that transcends any rational human behavior, despite the fact that he listens to podcast after podcast about the latest Mac developments, the evaluations of said developments and the criticisms of said evaluations. He refers to Steve Jobs as either “Steve” or “Jobs” – as if they are friends who occasionally play racquetball together – and when Steve Jobs gives a keynote speech to announce new products, my sweet husband watches it live on the computer.

So given all of that, an Apple Store opening near our house was basically equivalent to what it would be like for me if there were a fancy new SuperTarget in our area that, in addition to having a Starbucks (as ours does), also contained a TJ Maxx, a Steinmart, a Popeye’s fried chicken, and a large on-site gospel choir that sang nothing but old hymns all day every day. Oh, and if Chris Tomlin and Watermark filled in for the gospel choir when they needed a break. And then if Christy Nockels wanted to drink Starbucks and shop with me afterwards.

Which is a very roundabout way of saying that D. did not join us on our trip to Mississippi. And while we definitely missed his company, I could not deprive him of the opportunity to be at the Grand Opening of the Apple Store, just as he would never deprive me of the chance to drink coffee and shop with Christy Nockels, because THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT TO US.

We’re in it for the long haul, y’all.

In sickness, in health. For better, for worse. And in the event of once-in-a-lifetime grand opening celebrations.

Filed Under: Family Fun

Probably Not A Use For Which The Wii Was Intended

26 April 2007 by

Now that I have the color of my hair straightened out – everything all nice and even and streak-free – I’ve started to think about what kind of hair style I’d like to have in the rapidly approaching summer months.

When I’m not contemplating how to achieve world peace and save the environment, of course.

But I do think that most women understand that proper planning is one of the key components of successful hair. And just as I would never set out on a road trip without a good map in the car, I would never darken the door of a salon without doing my hair homework.

YOUR HAIR NEEDS GOALS, PEOPLE.

And do y’all have any idea how many different kinds of hair-tastrophe could occur as a result of neglecting that crucial pre-haircut research time?

So as I prepare for my appointment next week (just cut, no color), here are the questions I’m pondering, thereby revealing that I have far too much time on my hands:

Do I want to let it get a little longer, maybe even take one last stab at having a ponytail? Do I want to go short again – something wispy and funky and fun for summertime? Do I want to keep my old standby, the trusty bob? Or do I want to step out and do something different?

And how, oh how, will I ever decide?

And then I thought of the Mii feature on the Wii – and remembered that you can alter the hairstyles.

IT’S A TECHNOLOGICAL MIRACLE, Y’ALL!

So here are a few of the styles I tried. I rejected every single one of them – but oh, I found the whole process terribly entertaining.

And some of the styles are quite alarming, by the way, so you should prepare yourself accordingly. Small children should probably leave the room, as nightmares could result from viewing the images below.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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The last two crack me up; the one on the left looks like BooMama on the Prairie, and the one on the right looks like I’m going to a really KLASSY PROM.

Filed Under: Family Fun

This Does Not Bode Well For Any Future Fine Dining Experiences

25 April 2007 by

I am happy to announce that Fresh Market & Co. waddled back to our ‘hood this afternoon. All nine of them.

We took them some bread and then snapped an obscene number of pictures.

The mama and daddy were much friendlier today, by the way.

I’m guessing that had something to do with the whole bread thing.

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Which reminds me.

Today about 12:30 someone called me from Alex’s Mother’s Day Out and said that he had gotten sick. She said that he didn’t throw up exactly, but he got very still in the middle of eating lunch “and then some of it came back up.”

So I jumped in the car and headed over to pick him up, and when I got there about five minutes later, he was sitting happily in a chair in the director’s office, eating a popsicle and talking up a storm. His cheeks were flushed and his hair was sticking to his head – they’d been out on the playground right before lunch – but other than that he looked perfectly normal. I figured he must be in the early stages of a virus, so we thanked everybody for their help (“AND THE POPSICLE, MAMA!”), grabbed his backpack, and left.

Once we got back home, I immediately fixed the little man some Sprite and told him that it would probably be a good idea if he rested for awhile. He curled up on his bean bag in the playroom and watched a movie, and I was all “bless your bones” and “baby, do you need anything?” and he was all doe-eyed and uncharacteristically quiet.

But when the movie was over, he popped up from that bean bag, threw on his shoes, ran down the hallway at warp speed and announced (loudly) that he wanted to GO OUTSIDE! PLEASE, MAMA! AND PLAY BASEBALL!

Which seemed, you know, odd. Considering he was sick and all.

And by the end of the day, when there had been no more vomitage but a great deal of TALKING! AND PLAYING!, I started to get a little puzzled about this “virus.” So I began to ask him some questions.

Finally, after he had detailed most of the circumstances surrounding his lunchtime misfortune, he said, “Mama, I don’t need a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my lunch anymore.”

“But you love peanut butter and jelly, don’t you?”

“No, Mama. I don’t need it.”

And then it dawned on me: I bought a different kind of bread this week, a brand with little chunks of grains and berries and nuts and whatnot.

So I said, “Buddy, did you not like the bread I used today to make your sandwich?”

“NO, Mama – it had NUTS in it. And Mama, I SPIT IT OUT. I SPIT IT OUT REAL HARD.”

Which pretty much solved the whole “mystery virus” conundrum.

You see, apparently my child didn’t care for Nature’s Own Honey Wheat Berry bread when he started to eat his lunch today, so HE GAGGED AND PROJECTILE SPAT IT ACROSS THE LUNCH TABLE, thereby causing his teacher’s understandable concern that he was, you know, VOMITING.

And then he was rewarded for his pickiness with a popsicle.

Really, it worked out beautifully for the young lad.

But no worries.

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Because as you can see, Go Diego Go here thought that the Nature’s Own Honey Wheat Berry bread was absolutely delicious. As did his siblings and parents.

In fact, not a single one of them gagged, spat or threw up even a little bit as they ate it.

Alex may have them beat in terms of social skills, but they win the table manners battle by a mile.

Filed Under: Chatty McTalky, Rambling

Because Those Pins And Needles Must Be Mighty Uncomfortable

25 April 2007 by

Here, at long last, is what Alex named the seven goslings that we discovered behind our house:

Dora
Go Diego Go (not just “Diego,” mind you)
Blue’s Clues
Fresh Market
Joe
Steve
and, my personal favorite: Baby Geese

Unfortunately, we haven’t seen that particular group-o-geese since Alex named all of the babies, so either they were terribly offended by his name choices or they found a new home where they could be known only as “HOOOONK” (like all the other babies) without having to a listen to a four year old screaming, “LOOK! MAMA! IT’S FRESH MARKET!” at various points in the day.

Also, here is my new favorite name for a gosling, and I just thought of it about four seconds ago:

Honk Williams, Jr.

BADA-BING! Thank you and good night! Thank you. Thank you so much.

The other goose family – the one with four goslings – is now a family of three goslings, and I really can’t think about it for too long because YOU JUST KNOW THAT SNAKE WAS UP TO NO GOOD.

Up later: exciting details about a SQUIRREL!

(I’m really not kidding. We have an Official Squirrel Nemesis. I have photographic evidence. I’m considering contacting the authorities or, at the very least, the squirrel’s parents. Because he so needs to be grounded.)

Filed Under: Family Fun, Rambling

AI – Top 6

24 April 2007 by

Ahhh. I can finally watch without fear of my blood pressure shooting into the stratosphere. And I can’t help but feel like the real competition is starting tonight, and that makes me strangely happy.

Chris Richardson – “Change The World” – I actually liked the arrangement and was glad that they kept the song true to its acoustic roots. However, at this stage in the competition, Chris needs to WOW SOME PEOPLE – and he’s still sounding a little bit like Timberlite. I will say, though, that this performance was leaps and bounds better than last week – and I was surprised by how well the song suited his voice.

Melinda Doolittle – “There Will Come A Day” – When D. and I lived in Louisiana, I used to ride around and listen to this song. LOUDLY. Which is neither here nor there, really, but anecdotes are fun, aren’t they? And here’s the thing: I liked Melinda’s version better than Faith’s version. I really did. I thought Melinda was in her element tonight. I mean, did y’all see the joy on her face as she sang those lyrics (“There’s a better place / where our Father waits / and every tear will be wiped away…”)? I think she was having church on that stage – and I was shouting “SING IT, SISTA” in my living room. Also: she looked great.

Blake Lewis – “Imagine” – I know it’s some form of musical sacrilege, but I don’t like this song. I am so sorry, y’all – but I don’t. However, my dislike of this song has nothing to do with why I didn’t particularly care for this performance of Blake’s. I just feel like he does the same thing week after week – almost like he’s trying to audition for Coldplay. And this is going to sound crazy (which is appropriate because I am crazy), but he doesn’t blink when he sings, and for some reason that bothers me. His performance did seem earnest and sincere – but I was just a little bit bored.

LaKisha Jones – “I Believe” – I thought this was the best LaKisha has done in several weeks, so that’s a good thing. But I think where she doesn’t do as well as, say, Melinda, is that she doesn’t make songs her own. She typically sounds really great singing whatever she chooses – but she doesn’t necessarily sound different from the original artist. As the competition goes on, that’s going to be increasingly problematic for her, I’m afraid. Still, I love me some Kiki.

Phil Stacey – “Change” – What a great, simple arrangement of this song – and I really liked Phil’s performance. Unlike a couple of weeks ago, he seemed to really connect with the lyrics of the song. He is increasingly confident when he’s on the stage – very much a man’s man – and I think that’s going to resonate with voters.

Jordin Sparks – “You’ll Never Walk Alone” – She just gets better and better each and every week. I completely forget that she’s only seventeen years old. And the ending of tonight’s song? Good grief. She can flat-out belt it. I really do think that she’s going to be in the final two with Melinda. Oh yes ma’am I do.

Who will go? – It’s a tough call – but I think of all the performances tonight, Blake was the weakest. Teenage girls will probably save the day for him – but he would be my pick.

Best of the night? – Melinda. Love her.

Filed Under: TV Is My Friend

The World Cannot Contain The Sweetness

24 April 2007 by

Last night Alex and I were having snuggle time before he went to sleep, and after we said prayers, we fell into a comfortable silence.

He would look at me and smile, and I’d smile in return, and every once in awhile he’d giggle and scrunch up his eyes. I would respond by covering his face with kisses and holding him extra close.

After all, it won’t be long before my pre-bedtime snuggling services are no longer required.

After several minutes of quiet, I felt his little arms snake around my neck, and very, very softly he said, “Oh, I love you, Mama.”

“Well, I love you, too, little man,” I answered.

“And Mama?” he asked.

“What, baby?”

“Mama, you’re my very best family. Daddy is, too. You and Daddy are my very best family.”

And he is our very best boy.

Filed Under: Family Fun
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